Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly crave for it, but that’s about as far as we get-dreaming. Working an 8-5 shift just looks inevitable. I, Bochok Tabo, however am a master at defying the unavoidable. I stare ‘The Unavoidable’ straight to the face and call him dirty names. I say, if you like to quit your job, STOP WORKING; I’ll even give you 5 reasons why you should.

1. If you leave your job you’ll have plenty of time to reading good articles such as this one. This will enable me to become a trademark name down at the Office of Unemployment and Welfare Services. My fame is a simple price in achieving your dreams. Think about this when you see me on TV.

2. Quitting your job will make you feel wonderful. You’ll be in cloud nine in 10 minutes, you’ll be on top of the world, you’ll be living the good life, you’ll be: -insert your own cliche here-. Then the worries start about the car note, the mortgage, the kid’s school clothes, groceries, and and how you’re going to pay the amount you owe to other companies. All this will bring depression up to the extent of attempting suicide, but at least you had 10 minutes of freedom.

3. TV shows during the day is considered the most thrilling and fascinating television in the market. You’ll inquire how you ever survived without all those soap operas, movies, talk shows, reality shows, and judge shows where you get the sinking suspicion that the judge has been paid off. When you combine this with all the educational advertisements that air during the daytime that will ”Teach you to drive a tractor trailer in 4 days’, ‘Allow you to get a degree from home’, ‘Show you how to make $1,000 a day stuffing envelopes’, in such exciting fields as GED preparation and septic tank scrubber’ and you’ll not only wonder why you didn’t quit your job sooner, you’ll promise not to get a job again.

4. In your previous job you missed all those important calls from collection agencies and other bill collectors. Now that you have resigned you’ll be able to sit at home in eager anticipation of these oh-so-important calls. Toss in a few telemarketers, calls from the Sheriff’s Association asking for donations, and a few of those computers that call you and ask you to ‘Hold for an important message’ and you’ll have to sit back and relax answering these calls. It’s like having a job again, without all the hassle of getting a paycheck.

5. Dragging yourself out of bed every morning at 5:30 in the morning can’t be good for your health. Your doctor will be happy to know that caring for your body is your priority to go as far as leaving your job. He won’t see you anymore, however, since you don’t have health insurance. But there’s no need to worry, after all that’s why we have free clinics. Waiting all day in this clinic next to young teenagers diagnosed with Gonorrhea is is another wonderful experience you will surely miss if you had kept your day job.

There you have it folks. 5 raesons why you should go out and resign from your job. Have a free feeling to say these to your boss when you handle your resignation. If she wants to know where in the world you get that information tell her that a unselfish friend provided them to you, and all I wanted in return was that you remember me next time you need your septic tank scrubbed…

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